don't bite that hook
I spent 2 days with my parents this weekend. I also visited with family friends who have been around since I was at least 10.
I felt like a fish, swimming around in a large aquarium with all sorts of dazzling and scrumptious hooks hanging above my head. Old familial language and conversations mixed with people who can't seem to transition me out of the youngest sibling category seemed to make up most of the bait and fishers.
This weekend I learned a lot of things, but 2 things stick out the most:
1. A well balanced sense of humor can save me a lot of grief
2. If I don't let things roll off my back, I'll surely be one tired girl
Both of the above require balance, as most things do. I was brought up with most of life dripping with humor and sarcasm therefore feelings weren't really part of the daily menu. As part of growing up, I think I bit every hook thrown at me, rarely letting things roll off my back. This weekend I seemed to find balance for the both of these; I can't defend/block/correct/etc. every comment and I can't possibly take myself or the life around me as seriously as those around me did this weekend.
One of the most important improvements I feel has happened for me over the past 6-7 years is the art of not being hard on myself...dropping the ol' sledge hammer b/f mass amounts of damage are done. This weekend I learned that sledge hammer did not fall far from the tree and I watched both my mom and dad (and their friends) beat the hell out of themselves regularly. I'm not quite immune to this beating for myself just yet but I am able to notice significant improvements for myself. The bonus prize that comes from this growth, the extra credit, is that when people attempt to be hard on me and slather lots-o-guilt on top of me, if I'm not hard on myself, their slather slides right off and that's a great feeling.
My dad's health is definitely on the down hill slide. Another heart attack is inevitable regardless of changes he makes, all doctors say the damage is irreversible. He walked around the house this weekend with his 30 foot (not an exaggeration) oxygen hose attached to the compressor, at least I always knew where to find him. The only time I couldn't find him was when the oxygen tube thingys were hanging on the dining room chair so he could go out back and have a cigarette.
Side note to self: At some point my friend, we're going to have to get in touch with the anger we feel towards dad and them cigarettes. End note.
I felt like a fish, swimming around in a large aquarium with all sorts of dazzling and scrumptious hooks hanging above my head. Old familial language and conversations mixed with people who can't seem to transition me out of the youngest sibling category seemed to make up most of the bait and fishers.
This weekend I learned a lot of things, but 2 things stick out the most:
1. A well balanced sense of humor can save me a lot of grief
2. If I don't let things roll off my back, I'll surely be one tired girl
Both of the above require balance, as most things do. I was brought up with most of life dripping with humor and sarcasm therefore feelings weren't really part of the daily menu. As part of growing up, I think I bit every hook thrown at me, rarely letting things roll off my back. This weekend I seemed to find balance for the both of these; I can't defend/block/correct/etc. every comment and I can't possibly take myself or the life around me as seriously as those around me did this weekend.
One of the most important improvements I feel has happened for me over the past 6-7 years is the art of not being hard on myself...dropping the ol' sledge hammer b/f mass amounts of damage are done. This weekend I learned that sledge hammer did not fall far from the tree and I watched both my mom and dad (and their friends) beat the hell out of themselves regularly. I'm not quite immune to this beating for myself just yet but I am able to notice significant improvements for myself. The bonus prize that comes from this growth, the extra credit, is that when people attempt to be hard on me and slather lots-o-guilt on top of me, if I'm not hard on myself, their slather slides right off and that's a great feeling.
My dad's health is definitely on the down hill slide. Another heart attack is inevitable regardless of changes he makes, all doctors say the damage is irreversible. He walked around the house this weekend with his 30 foot (not an exaggeration) oxygen hose attached to the compressor, at least I always knew where to find him. The only time I couldn't find him was when the oxygen tube thingys were hanging on the dining room chair so he could go out back and have a cigarette.
Side note to self: At some point my friend, we're going to have to get in touch with the anger we feel towards dad and them cigarettes. End note.
posted by Kepola at
3:48 AM
1 Comments:
I love the sledge hammer image. It will be my new mental picture for when I'm too hard on myself. Also, the side note rocks - how helpful.
By
Seafarer, at 10:03 PM
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